Up a gum tree

You've gotta feel sorry for our crotchety old sub Tom. Yesterday, his car was submerged in water when the Lud burst its banks. Undeterred, he phoned the AA and got himself to Millets, where he snaffled the last pair of £7.99 wellingtons. He came back to the office. And waited.And waited. And subbed the odd page. And waited. At 9pm (yes, I know) he was told by the AA that they couldn't get out to see him. So he trudged to the car, only to find it knee-deep in water. Then, he left the wellies in the passenger seat and called a taxi. Returning to the car today, he found it had been broken into and the wellies stolen. The vagabonds had ignored everything else. It could have just been some kind of gum-induced envy. But I know that Tom will be scouring the feet of every n'aer do well for weeks to come and a right melee will ensue if he discovers the wellingtons he never got to bed in.