Louth was on flood alert today (59mm of rain in an hour - rattly old weather ed). We knew this because every 15 minutes the old siren last used in the Blitz was cranked up and released upon the town, wailing its deathy banshee screech upon us all. Those worst affacted were the OAPs living near the River Lud, and can only imagine what it must have been like hearing that sound again. Be nice to report a solidarity in the face of godly adversity, but the floods just seemed to bring out more nutters, semi-naked and fuming with bulldogs, to the town. On the way into work a woman on a bike was cycling up to passing cars and uttering short sentences: "Cars. Two.Feet.Of.Water.Turn. Around. Nowwwww." The forebringer of apocalypse on two wheels. Later, Martin, the office madman, said that if I couldn't get home, he'd let me sleep with him. I ran for the car and applied the gas.