Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Spare a thought ...

... for the poor couples who had to stay at one of Barton's less salubrious establishments on the weekend of our wedding. This is an email from a friend who stayed at the pub (let's call it the George), just in case any of you were thinking it was the official Michelin review lifted straight from t'guidebook.

The "George" was an experience I hope not to be repeating again in this lifetime....it was straight out of a Peter kay sketch. I mean I have stayed in some grotty places in my time - but that takes the biscuit. Including my travels round Africa. On the plus side, the room was large, the breakfast decent and the water was hot. On the minus side, the beds were saggy, I've thrown cleaner carpets in the skip, the bathroom contained a set of SIO (stains of indeterminate origin), and best of all, you could smell the fag smoke from the staff/customers coming up the stairway and under the bedroom door at all times of the day and night. Pete reported the car park was covered in broken glass when he went down (he left early as he was going to the football). Staff Highlights: miserable landlord about to go bankrupt. Toothless chainsmoking wizened old bloke who seemed to do all the cooking and general work. Fat chav single mum fagging it in the back lobby over the kid's buggy - role unknown - maybe some of kind of maitre d'???!! Anyway, it was OK as we were so knackered we just went stright to sleep once we hit the pillow, despite the efforts of Mick's disco.
Here's a tip for you - if it doesn't work out with Danielle you can be sure of pulling a stunna on a Friday night down there! Anyway, it was all hilairious and you would have found it highly amusing...but only because it was only for one night!!


Stone Fee said...

I wonder if this was the same establishment that also featured what I can only call "power assisted toilets"?

To those unfamiliar with such technological wizardry, this was essentially an electric cross cut shredder added just after the u-bend.

On the cistern was a notice written in various European languages warning against flushing plastic items down the loo, next to the international sign for danger of electrocution.

It's quite unnerving to see the word ACHTUNG! next to a lightning symbol when you're answering the call of nature in the middle of the night whilst half asleep and bleary eyed from booze, I can tell you.

More Chips (with gravy) on my shoulder said...

Amazingly, this was not the same establishment. It appears North Lincolnshire's B and B stock is not the finest!