Natty wedd

A fabulous time was had by all at Ben and Nicola's wedding down in Hampshire - amid the usual tales of lacerated hands, women shamelessly flaunting judo medals (is it form to bring your medals to someone else's bash, I wouldn't take mine to me own), burnt out cars, stolen clubs, stolen wedding trousers, police reports and the like. The bride and groom walked out to the theme from Star Wars played by a string quartet and the canapes were astonishing, darling. As for my speech, it was the toughest gig since the Cyclones east coast carvery tour. But there were laughs. Those coming to our own bash in the summer will be able to gage just how well I did as Ben is doing the reverse honour of being my bezzzzer.

Listening: Martha Winwright, Rachel Unthank, The Gutter Twins