Bad puns

I've been forking about down the allotment for a few weeks now. Trevor, the previous occupant who drives/pedals one of those key-operated bikes, had planted rows of lavender which we have had to uproot painstakingly and painfully, before 'turning' the ground over and then giving the soil some much needed nutrition. All this life-affirming pursuit reminds me how many bad puns come from allotments. My love of a gardening cliche ' faster than shit off shovel' 'where there's muck, there's grass' 'it's a forking disgrace' etc etc is growing far faster than any plant-life as yet. Next week we put down some perenials, whatever that means. But I'm still legit, still rock n' roll. I was listening to Dead Kennedy's while a-chittling.
Reading: No Country For Old Men (brilliant, somebody should make a film of it. I reckon that Javier bloke...oh right); Aberyswith Mon Amour - Malcolm Pryce; Flat Earth News - Nick Davies
Watching: The Sopranos (note - not good to introduce fiancee to this in final season. Christopher has just died and she cares not.)
Saving hard for: The Wire Season Four (no drama is better than this. Nothing. Not even Dexter.)
Listening: Drill n' bass, dubstep, new Supergrass, old Nick Lowe